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Thursday, Dec. 23, 2004 / 9:58 p.m. ~Let's Keep it This Way, Nicer, For a Change~ Oh dear, dearest 'diary', I certainly do apologize for not updating daily, as I once did, for years even. When I add 'even' on the end of a sentence, I can't help but think of that tiger with the bow tie, the "Exit, stage right" cartoon character. Anyway. I should say, yes, I should, that I feel much better. This past week has been pure hell, and it has been detailed elsewhere, and how could I possibly wrap it up without having to detail it once again? Major pain in my rectum due to forces beyond my control. This, having to do with my home, the new apartment complex manager, and forced evacuation of my kitchen, bathroom and laundry room contents. For supposed pest control that never even happened. And of course I've been lied to, told it did happen. I am not the idiot I appear to be. Do not believe what you have been told. Ah, well, days of discombobulation have led to this place, putting it all back and right, and in time for a Christmas I normally do not celebrate, but last minute, and happier than I've been, I feel like buying presents for the whole world, most especially for myself. I deserve it. I went to Hell and lived to tell about it, again, as I continue to do. And if what does not kill me makes me even stronger and stronger, good god, I should be able to tow a tractor trailer with my neck, or my teeth, or something, by now. Could come in handy to earn some extra money. Reminder, note to self, play lottery tomorrow, several tickets, do not forget, there has to be a way out. Bottom line, as they say? I need to move. I'm not sure I can stay here anymore. Lease is up in April. Job site lease is up as well, and they are not renewing, and we are all being laid off, but 15 chosen few, who will be forced to commute very far away in order to keep their jobs, which are by no means guaranteed. Needles and pins. It's relaxing now, we're riding it out, like the worst has passed, we no longer care quite so much. And so only one glass was broken (heirloom crystal, but still, just one), and one of my million mugs. Just the handle. An amazingly lightweight ceramic hand made thing. Surprisingly lightweight, that is its draw. But, putting everything back, calmer than when I took it all out and spread it all around my apartment, I am reminded of what great objects I have in possession. Yes, I attach sentimentally to inanimate objects, but with just cause. I surround myself with beautiful things, artful things, and things that are souvenirs of places I've been and people I've known, and to touch them all, again, not moving for a change, just evacuating and returning, well, it's a great pleasure, warming to my heart and soul. I never really talk like this, all sappy and corny, but I do so enjoy what I own, and I would hate to lose any of it, and to think of dying without having a place for it all when I'm gone, is sad indeed. Morbid as well, but it occurs to me. Even the cats are happier. And they are fine. Neither gets fluids anymore, we simply stopped. I feed them a set diet, which seems to do well for them, and both are a bit chunky, Glad is still lumpy, but we're satisfied they are lipomas, not breast cancer. And Norm's tum still gets upset sometimes, like yesterday, but it's rare now. Summer's horrors seem a long way in the past, now. And this nightmare, this week, already seems like just that, a bad dream. I'll never forget, but I want to put it behind me. It's not over yet, I have to consider repercussions, possible lawsuit, at least a strong letter, or phone call or both, but not until January. Let's have one more week of trying to recoup, if we can. Full moon coming up, time to be safe, home, cozy, comfortable, and however that is, whatever it takes. Another note to self: acquire foodstuffs! I'm feeling Christmas Spirit, and it always hits last minute, remembering Christmases past, singing Christmas carols, drinking hot buttered rum, being with my mom, my grandmother, 'family', even past lovers, friends, it's not a bad holiday, is it? No compulsory consumption here, no 'shopping', but I still feel kind and generous, and today I even talked to people at work, reached out, spoke up, and I saw surprise in their eyes, and smiles cross their faces. It was nice. Tomorrow should be nicer. Let's keep it this way, shall we, for a change? Cost of the War in Iraq
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