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Tuesday, Oct. 21, 2003 / 6:31 p.m. ~The Man WAS Here!~ My email inbox is out of control. I wasn't online at all last night and today I had 44 messages at lunch time, another 5 or 8 on my second break at work, and 7 just now. So much to read, and that's not counting all the new ways to enlarge my penis. Brief pause to catch some news on CBS (Uncle Dan, don't ya know) - looks like Bush will try to make abortions totally illegal by the time he's booted next November. Good god. Oh hell, now news about trigger happy US soldiers killing civilians in Iraq. We (humanity in general) need someone to collectively give us all a good shake, wake us up! What the hell are we doing to ourselves? It's bad enough the air where I live is brown. Yeah, you can see it on the horizon. We have a permanent brown layer of smog hanging over us, due to the traffic on the Interstate which is only a hop skip and jump away. I should move. Forget the world, I should think about myself, that's what everyone else does. Me, me, me. Well, I was supposed to start my period on Saturday, Sunday latest, I counted days, but not until today, or late last night did I see any color at all. Grrreat (she says sarcastically). Now, most likely I'll be bleeding when I board the bus Friday night, which kind of really sucks. Not that there won't be others doing the same, and we'll hope from the same orifice!, and not that there aren't toilets on the buses, and not that we don't stop once on the way, once for breakfast, and not that there aren't 'portable toilets' in D.C. around the Rally and March area, but still, you know? Still. This sucks. In fact, the way it hit me was weird, I was all sneezy and congested yesterday, and last night, took some echinacea trying to stave off some impending cold virus, and in the middle of the night I was convinced I was getting horribly sick and I would need to cancel my particpation in the trip altogether. Today I realized it was just that 'hit by a truck' feeling I can sometimes get at the onset. I told Jane about how I feel today at work, and she again expressed her dismay that women have to go through this. She's right, why do we? Even if I had a hysterectomy I'd have to deal with estrogen replacement, and bone loss, and osteoporosis, or are they one and the same? Redundancy abounds. Ah well. I came home at lunch and saw a new furnace filter outside my neighbor's door, and my door mat slightly askew (I keep it perfectly aligned just so I can tell if someone has been inside my apt), so I deduced the maintenance dude(s) had been inside to change my filter. I checked, saw the cord on the vacuum cleaner had come loose from its mooring, again, things slightly askew, but barely noticeable. I wasn't sure, so I asked the cats... "Was the man here? Huh? Did you see the man? Did the man come in?", and they said, "Wha?", but in cat. When I came home from work just now, or half an hour ago, I saw a used air filter down by the stairs, a very dirty air filter, and I felt horrible thinking it was MY dirty air filter, but I don't remember seeing it at lunch, and I would have, seeing as I 'see' everything, or so it would seem. I am tempted to take it to the dumpster just in case. It's like having your dirty underwear lying outside for everyone to see. Isn't it? No, it's not, but still. Ew! So, the man was here. I checked the filter, and yeah, he was here. He lit the pilot light too, which was nice, yeah, thanks. And barely made a dent in the perfect order of everything compulsively obsessively placed in this apt. But, I would expect some kind of note saying, "Hey, you, move those boxes out of the laundry room! They are a fire hazard!". Really. And, and, and, the flyer for the March that I printed out yesterday at work, the one sitting on the dining table, was also askew, toward the edge of the table, like 'the man' looked at it and set it back down. I wonder if he saw the NARAL pro choice America stickers that were beneath it. They sent those to me yesterday. Here's how my day began. Glad jumped on the bed and off, in rapid succession, maybe three times, at approximately 6:00 a.m., maybe 6:15 a.m., maybe 7:00 a.m., vrrrrroooooom! Jump, splat, galump. Or something. "G cat, stop it! Go sit down!", yell I. Then, when I'm officially 'up', I run water for my shower, right, and I get in the shower, or tub really, and pull the curtain behind me, the cool new-ish purple polka dot on clear curtain which I've really grown to love, and I look at the water, and I think it doesn't look right, somehow, it's not like a usual shower, this is not how it usually looks... Duh. I forgot to turn the water from spigot to shower head. I was totally disoriented. I don't care how much of a feminist I am, or anyone else is, I do NOT want a menstruating surgeon operating on me. If I were a surgeon today, I would've left the hemos in the stomach cavity, I would've amputated the wrong arm, I would've, well, you get my point. I could barely function. I am not kidding. I was almost afraid to operate a heavy machine, i.e. my car. I made it though, it's over, I'm home, all is well. Yesterday was insanely busy at work, I didn't feel at all like I was going to ever get my period, I felt energetic and good and we worked and worked and worked some more, so hard in fact that at 6:00 Jane and I were still FAXing, and copying, and Q had to tell us it was time to leave! Then I came home and had to do two loads of laundry to have clothes to wear this week (just imagine if 'the man' had come to change the filter yesterday!!!, there were clothes piled sky high, or ceiling high, or almost), and then I had to watch 4 "Guiding Light"s on tape, and "The Next Joe Millionaire" (dude has an amazing body, put a paper bag over his head and I would SO do him!), and the new show "Skin", which is all style and no substance. It is some hella stupid. (look, I almost sound like one of the kids today, I know the lingo) I jest, you realize. What else? I snapped a Polaroid of G and one of N to take into work and I stared at them all day. I love my girls so much and they are so cute, so pretty, so wonderful, the bestest cats in the whole world. Stop gagging, it's true. I showed everyone, or almost, okay, Q, Jane and Penelope, and they sort of agree. Today is supposed to be the last day of upper 70s, low 80s temps for the year, and I say whoo hoo. Today was fookin' hot. Must eat grub, must find something, and I bet I can. I'm thinking the chicken brats, maybe with some couscous? Need to check cabinets, need to go to store, AGAIN (why, why, why???), but could not possibly at end of day. Nor at lunch. Must go soon, but keep thinking of the out of town thing on the weekend. Need to plan. Have run out of pronouns. Noticed? Tired. Fucking uterus. Should've started on Saturday, as PLANNED. I counted, I knew. Um, that's it, right? Anything else? Do I need to sit here and catch up on everyone else's diaries now, or can I just call it a day? Cost of the War in Iraq
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