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Monday, Jan. 24, 2005 / 5:32 p.m. ~On Basic Human Needs~ 'Add an entry', take one! (that exclamation mark takes the place of the clapper - and guess what?, no, guess?, I've been a 'clapper girl' before, yeah, no shit - I miss working in film/video production...) Hey, look, I've digressed before I've even gotten started. It was a fun day today, it just really was. On Friday, decidedly NOT today, the IT guy at work came by, walked by, saying, "Alright, who wants Internet?", and when people started saying, "What?", and "Huh?", he said, "Okay, then, never mind, you weren't listening, you should be listening", and I said, "I heard you, I do, I want it", and it was so. Once again, I have Interweb access from the cube. And the supervisor from hell was out today, so I went in and logged on to my PC, and checked email, and journals on my LJ friends list, and email, and LJ, and then some email, and some LJ, and I exchanged comments, and wrote email, and read email, and wrote email, all fooking day long! It was great. I should always look at the clock at a quarter to five and say, to myself of course, "Hey, look, it's almost time to go!" But there's a new corporate liaison now, and she roams the 'floor', which is SO not good, especially now that a few of us have the Interweb. (We interrupt this diary entry to note that Gassy Bowel Girl just let out a big burp, and if she throws up, again!, I'm going to make her clean it up this time.) Anyway, I met a new person online recently, and this person writes THE best emails I've ever read. I mean I think I've finally met someone with my sense of humor. Sarcastic and offbeat, and irreverent, and fucking hilarious. I love to write, I love to communicate, and I love when someone will match me, email for email, sense of humor for sense of humor. Fun day, did I say that? Erp, speak of the devil, I just got a reply to my latest missive. He calls my writing "...really great. Zingy. Sharp. Ballsy. Compelling. Cool.", and I quote. Goddammit, could it be there is actually someone in this world who appreciates me and is not too fucking insecure to tell me so? Whoo! Even if we only wrote to each other, and nothing more, this makes me so happy. Writing is so important to me. To be able to express myself, completely, no holds barred, is the ultimate passion for me. Along with so many, of course, but I love a free flowing communicative experience, and this is approaching that, so far. Not to get too excited. New friends are a dime a dozen. Keeping them, watching them become old and dear friends is the hard part. Aside from that, yes, it's over, this day. And it flew by, nothing to do but sit and write and read. The actual 'work' only took a couple hours, so the rest of the day was spent pretending to be busy, keeping my Interweb window small, closing it often, logging in, logging out, that sort of thing. Back to being appreciated... it's important to me. As I identify completely with my sun sign, Aries, I'd have to note that Aries is the first sign of the zodiac, representing birth, spring, the head, and the infancy of human kind. I am a child, but I am incredibly generous and giving, loving, and when appreciated I blossom, I swell, I am alive. When I am not, I sink, I die inside myself. It's a sad truth. And I do believe we have to be all we are going to be, inside ourselves, we have to lift ourselves up, we have to rely upon ourselves only, but when surrounded by the rest of humanity, so often in our daily lives, we come to look for validation from others, and when that is not present, it is then that we are loneliest. Loneliest in a crowd. We all want to be loved, it is a basic human need. Ah, but I digress once again. So it was fun, the writing. I think I've made a new friend, and I need a new friend. I've tired of trying with the old friends, tired of trying with those who have no inclination of appreciating me, nor knowing me. There is no point there. How much trying can a person do? When there are so many of us in this world? I shall reach out to those who would want to reach back, it feels so much better, so much warmer, fills me up inside. I need that. The weekend was bliss, if a bit painful (not digressing here, just going backwards). Yesterday I suffered from some of the worst uterine cramping I've ever experienced, and managed to crawl out of bed just to take some Kava Kava. Almost instantly upon swallowing, the pain was gone. It's a miracle herb, I tell you. Or root, or whatever it is, doesn't matter to me. It relaxed my uterus, and that was all I needed, a chilled out, relaxin' not-a-womb. But then, I lay in bed all day, watched several cheesy movies, and I will admit right here, dammit, I like Sandra Bullock! She is cute, engaging, funny, pretty, hell, I wouldn't kick her out of bed! I like her movies, period. End of story. Gladys cuddled under covers with me most of the day too, which was nice. So it was good. And with all the sleep (napping during some of the movies - and has anyone ever seen that ridiculous movie "Millenium"?, with Cheryl Ladd and Kris Kristofferson?, in which Cheryl Ladd has a serious Flock of Seagulls hairdo?) I got, today I was exhausted. I think inertia breeds inertia. Tonight is "24", which is always fun. Fun, fun, fun, in a terrorism/torture can be fun sort of way, as long as it's fictionalized, and in such a way as to insist upon some serious suspension of disbelief. Good, good, good. I see this being a slow week, with much surreptitious online activity in the cubicle, and much writing and exchanging of emails with one who appreciates my sense of humor and can match me wit for wit, and then dinner on Sunday, out, someplace I want to go. Must decide where... Cost of the War in Iraq
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