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Monday, Jan. 06, 2003 / 7:15 p.m. ~Now Everyone Knows~ I have an intense headache that feels much like I would imagine it feels to be kicked repeatedly in the back of the head. Joy. I just sent an email confirming my desire to reserve a space on the bus to D.C. for the 18th............... to the entire list serv for the local chapter of the International _______ (name withheld to protect the innocent). More joy. I feel so stupid. Not that I worded it personally, but I did inquire about the weather, the potential for postponement, or preemption, and should that be hyphenated? Right now I'm here instead of eating, or instead of preparing something to eat, and instead of sitting to watch "Felicity", feeling the varying sensations associated with the kicking in of my skull, I think because this is fresh, this decision, this writing of the email, this sending the email out to the whole group without realizing it until I watched it fold itself up and disappear (I have Incredimail, and it has 3D effects, so yeah, it does fold up and disappear, it's cool, I recommend). I wrote a little apologetic oopsy sort of email to the group, but what the fuck, it's too late. So everyone knows that I want to go, that yes, I'll be on the bus, so those who never wanted to see me again now have to rethink. Sure, there might be someone falling into that category. Oh, see, now I just got the apology email, as I'm on the list serv, duh, and doik, and bonk. First thing, at work, Penelope says, "Looks like we're going to war!", and Kukla says, "I don't wanna go to war", and Veronica says, "K, YOU don't have to!", and Kukla says, "Yeah, whatever, well I don't want the soldiers to go to war", and I wanted to jump in, I wanted to ask her to get on the bus with me, but I didn't. End of the day, I talked to 'the new boy' about it, and he actually listened as I brought up the North Korea/Iraq controversy/hypocrisy. He was stationed in Korea for a time, North, South, I don't know. He listened when I said maybe it's not too late, that if enough people take to the streets, if it's one swelling mass of humanity, braving cold and wind, and potential snow, holding signs and chanting and beating drums, maybe.... but he says it's about the money, who has it, who's calling the shots, and we both agreed that George Jr talks to George Sr every night. Jr is not in charge of this mess. He's a mouthpiece. Gladys just jumped on her computer chair without my prompting! Yea!!! What else? The previous 'new boy', the one who came after 'the new boy', is gone. He had better things to do. We now have another new boy, but this one is a man, and my gaydar failed me miserably because I was SO SURE he is gay, until he told me he has four kids, and he talked about his wife, not much, just a mention that he does have one. I'd seen the ring on his left hand, thought maybe he'd been through a commitment ceremony or something. How could I have been so wrong??? He's been on site for a couple months, but transferred to our department as of today, and we began training, Kukla and I sharing the responsibility, today, amidst NO phones. Phones were down the entire day. I think this is why I have a headache. Sort of like caffeine withdrawl, it's phone withdrawl. But I'm not sure. I think I can go scare up some viddles now, I think I can sit and watch some television, zone out, try to relax just a bit. Making this decision is a big deal to me, and making it in front of everyone on that list serv is an even huger deal. I'm still embarassed, but more than that I'm anxious, because it's really going to happen. I'll cut a check tomorrow and drop it off to D's PO BOX, and that will be that. I'll be set to go. I need to research the weather, I have to know how cold it will be, what clothes I'll need to wear, to take. I have long johns, but they require baggy pants. My hiking boots are really old and falling apart, I'll wear my athletic shoes, my running shoes or whatever they are, with thick socks. And a hat, and mittens or gloves, a scarf, a big sweater, my big coat. I'm not crazy about protesting in January, but if George Jr insists on going ahead with this crap in the desert-friendly Winter months, well, we'll do what we have to, eh? Don't forget to read MOBY'S JOURNAL for all your political commentary, it's good stuff, and he writes a lot, from his heart. He's influencing the kids, I hope. Cost of the War in Iraq
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