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Saturday, May. 08, 2004 / 11:09 p.m. ~Short and Sweet~ I'm thinking my thumb and two forefingers will soon become permanently orange stained from the cheddar popcorn I've been eating nightly. And that I will soon sweat garlic stuffed olives. I will walk in a cloud of garlicky oliveness. I am disappointed. People disappoint me. I feel this part of me pushing forth and outward, this part that desperately wants a circle of friends, people with whom I can sit in cafes and sip wine and have long intellectual or popular cultural conversations, and men with whom I can have mad passionate sweaty sex, nightly if I choose. But I don't like people. Why do I keep forgetting? People suck. They do nothing more than disappoint me. I want to keep them at a distance, and rightfully so. It must be the weather making me want to come out of some self-imposed hibernation, but when have I been hibernating? It's sporadic at best. It needs to be permanent. And I need to forget that I want to connect. I don't, it's not what I want at all. So it is I'll sit here and read diaries online, as I can get lost in the memoirish aspects of snippets of lives, without having to actually know any of these people, and I'll eat my cheddar popcorn, and I'm fresh out of garlic stuffed olives now. It's sad indeed. There's a Star Trek movie playing in the living room, on one of the HBOs, but I'll sit here for now, working on that orange color enhancement. Cost of the War in Iraq
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