|
Wednesday, Jul. 27, 2005 / 6:46 p.m. ~Injected With a Pleasant Sensation~ The air is so hot and heavy, so thick with smog, people have been advised not to breathe it. We've been advised to stay inside, which is no problem for me. My mother used to claim to know a good deal about modeling, or posing for pictures, and said that a woman should not hold her hands down in photos, the veins will fill with blood and grow larger, manly. As I think about it, I know she read this in the book she lent to me, I think it was called Mannequin: My Life as a Model. I feel the veins bulge on my hands now, and one of the cats came by for me to pat her head, give a scritch, and the feel of the fullness in the top of my hand as it hung there made me recoil. Someone wrote online about being in an emergency room, having an IV needle inserted into her hand, or refusing one, wanting to be able to use her hands to knit, insisting on a spot in the inside of her elbow instead, and I remember going in for surgery, the needle inserted into a vein in the top of my right hand, the white tape placed over it almost instantly, and as long as the tape was there, and the drugs were doing what they were intended to do, I could stop thinking about it, stop feeling it, counting backwards, only making it to nine from ten. I just stopped moving to sit quietly, just to listen, and tried to remember the dreams I had last night, but couldn't, then thought of the sound of the blower on the air conditioner, and the news on the TV in the next room, and my clean hair wet from the shower, clean clothes, my breasts loose behind my shirt, and I felt totally comfortable. I should go with that feeling, harness it, bottle it, keep it in a jar next to me at all times. Inhale it, perhaps, or inject it slowly via an IV needle... in my arm, not my hand. Cost of the War in Iraq
(JavaScript Error)
Recent Entries: It Was 40 Years Ago Today - 9:44 a.m. , Friday, Oct. 12, 2012 Dead Black Cat - 9:07 a.m. , Wednesday, Jan. 25, 2012 As Seen From Outer Space - 1:07 a.m. , Saturday, Dec. 05, 2009 I Survived to Tell the Tale - 7:29 a.m. , Friday, Sept. 18, 2009 Reading My Life - 12:55 p.m. , Saturday, Sept. 12, 2009 
  |