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Wednesday, Mar. 06, 2002 / 9:37 p.m. ~Star Struck~ Not that my interest in Tony Bourdain should be boiled down to could I or couldn't I sleep with the guy, but what I'm learning about myself here is that besides David Letterman I think this is the first attraction I've had to a man close to my age! Okay, Letterman is a good bit older, but he was the first older man I had a huge crush on. Bourdain is my brother's age, four years older than me, and normally I would think that to be "too old" for me, I wouldn't even consider the guy, normally, again, but my God!!!!!! He blew me away! BLEW ME AWAY! He's fucking hilarious! First thing. Hilarious. I told him so when it was my turn to get my books signed. "You're hilarious!"... "Thank you". "I love the show, are you at least happy, overall, with the way it turned out?"... "Yeah, I mean Food Network let me do almost anything I wanted, but there was one call while I was in Cambodia, they said, 'Does he have to smoke so much?', and I said YEAH!". I said Thank You, of course, and he thanked me for coming. HE thanked ME for coming! I wanted to just stand there and stare at him as he signed everyone else's books. Right now I'm taking a break between Thai delicasies, or entrees, or something. After the signing I was so jazzed I couldn't imagine eating, but I knew I'd be hungry, so I went to get a newspaper so I could see the little article about Bourdain, and I sat at the restaurant while they cooked my dinner, then I brought it home. Scarfed down Basil Rolls and Nam Sod, ate a few bites of Salmon Curry and some Chicken Coconut Milk Soup, and felt really full, so I'm sitting for a minute here to write about my big evening! I was early, which was fine, I wanted to be. I wanted to look for Jim Morrison's books of poetry, and when I went to ask at the Information desk there was a guy from the Coalition meetings....I had his name wrong, but I was close, and he didn't seem to remember me, but had no problem talking to me, going on and on about his new job, some Ralph Nader organization, and the fact that where he lives he can't get high speed internet access because of poor attention to phone lines, and overall utility maintenance, due to it being a Hispanic neighborhood, so he claimed. I suggested he downgrade his modem, so at least he can get online. That was just weird, this guy who I'd thought a total whitey-hating narcissist, due to his comments/behavior at some meetings, a guy I'd looked in the eye on several occasions, here he is working at this bookstore, the best bookstore in the city, really, the place where my ex-co-workers all ended up after our store went bankrupt.....and he doesn't remember me, but is talking my ear off, and showing me Morrison's books, not in Poetry, where they belong, where we shelved them at Media Play, of all places, but in the Rock Music section. I bought two. And Bourdain's book on "Typhoid Mary". Hardcover, $20. So what? I wanted it. Yeah, I dropped like $44, just like that. So, I go upstairs to sit and wait, and chairs fill up, an hour ahead. We're watching last night's episode of "A Cook's Tour" on tape, commercials and all, in a loop. It ends, it starts again. I'm reading Typhoid Mary - An Urban Historical, anxious, nervous..... and then HE arrives. Like God. Like the hippest God of all. Cool, personified. A bit red in the face when he smiles. Kind of like me. He talked a bit, then read an absolutely hysterically funny passage from his new book, the companion to the show, the one I already bought online, autographed, A Cook's Tour, a passage about eating foie gras in France. God, I love the way he writes, and he read it so fast, no stumbling, like he was speaking it, not reading it. Everyone was cracking up, it was so funny! And there was swearing in it, he was shouting "Fuck" and "Shit" sprinkled in with multisyllabic adjectives, over the PA system set up, and I was thinking how amazingly articulate he is. How it's like this overeducated rambling of a former druggie. Exactly. That's what he is. Another passage on being in some dive bar in California and his amazement at being told he couldn't smoke there. No cigarette smoking in California, in public restaurants/bars. Then the Q&A, and some really good questions, comments. A cook, in his "whites", a dental hygeinist comparing her work to his (???), a restaurant owner thanking him for giving their brethren a voice, of sorts. Gushes, compliments, asking for descriptions of the deep fried Mars Bar phenomenon in Glasgow....... He went on, thinking on his feet, not skipping any beats, and when the cook asks if Hunter S. Thompson was an influence, yes, it hits me, YES, that's it! And sure enough, Bourdain claims Thompson to have been his "childhood role model"! Scary! He says he read the serialized version of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas in Rolling Stone when he was 12. Wow. Blown away. He's smart, he's irreverent as hell, sarcastic, politically incorrect, opinonated, outspoken, brash, yet unassuming, unpretentious, seemingly kind at heart (I don't know how I get that, but I do), funny, did I say funny?!, and just someone I wish I knew. And for once, a man in his 40s who really attracts me. He's sexy. He's confident, and at the same time a bit self-deprecating, honest, so very, very, very appealing. And I was not the only one who thought so, no doubt. There was a rather large crowd. Not Anne Rice large, nor Jimmy Carter large, but yeah, it was cool. Supposedly there was free food too, but it was at the back of the chairs, and I didn't want to get up - it appeared to be pasta salad and homemade bread. I could leave it. So, that's over. He's still in town, being the honoree at some reception tomorrow night....I could go if I wanted to spend $75, but I'm not going to stalk the guy. He is married, dedicates all his books to his wife, I'm sure they're happy. But, wow, I don't know, I would choose him for my ideal dinner party. I was thinking too that he would be, combined with Moby, and maybe that Yugoslavian actor from "ER", the perfect man! Fuck Brad Pitt! Smart, funny, confident, worldly.....THAT, is sexy. Okay, so it was great. I bought his Typhoid Mary book. I have three books of his, signed. I got Thai takeout. And earlier, I called Hermione out West. It's been a real full day. I hate that it's about to end. And I have to go back to work tomorrow, worry if I'm going to be fired, again, for mouthing off to D., the Supervisor, yesterday. Yeah, I shouldn't have said, "It's a stupid rule" when I was initialling the error form. I couldn't help it. It did seem stupid. Petty. Bullshit. At least I didn't swear. Whew! Oh man, Anthony Bourdain, you are the man. You are amazing, you rock my socks! And he uses the word "cool" a lot. "Oh, okay, cool." 45 years old. Why do I think I should be with some 20something? Men in their 20s don't know much at all, they're still so YOUNG, they don't know where they're going, they're clueless.... Maybe I'm growing up a little bit, maybe I can be attracted to older men, or maybe just Bourdain. Actually, despite his age, part of what I like about him is the fact that he is so youthful. He is not at all like your typical 45 year old. He acts much younger. But in an older way. Does that make sense? I think I'll eat some tofu before it gets cold, but most of my takeout will be eaten as leftovers tomorrow. Perhaps we could say my eyes were bigger than my stomach..... But know what? I can't stop thinking about it, the reading, the signing, him, hearing him while watching him, right there, feet from me. I'm kind of star struck right now, sort of high from it. I was telling Hermione it would be like when I met Loudon Wainwright III after one of his shows. He was in the lobby selling his CDs, and I shook his hand, told him how much of a fan I am, and I was high as a kite for the rest of the night, couldn't stop thinking about it. For the record, there are very few people who do that to me, and as I've written, I've met some famous people, quite a few. Okay, maybe Julia Child elicited a similar reaction, but this guy, Tony Bourdain...okay, I'll shut up. Oh, wait, someone asked about his writing habits, his style, etc., I guess some writers in the group, a couple questions actually....he says he writes first thing in the morning, and it's just something he does, like roasting bones for stocks. It's just part of his day. He's very humble when he talks about it. He also says he just writes like he talks. Good. I like that, that's what I do too. Oh, not that I could ever be as good a writer as he is, but still, it was nice to hear. Sigh..... Cost of the War in Iraq
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