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2001-11-29 / 8:43 p.m. ~Strange Days Indeed~ I stepped outside after work this evening and was embraced by the most wonderful breeze....it was warm and clean and felt so sensuous. I looked up immediately to see the huge bright circle that was the moon, clouds floating past it, a rainbow reflective patch of vapor underneath it. I said to the person in front of me, "Wow, look at the moon!", though I don't even know her, and she glanced up, then walked on to her car. On the drive away I couldn't stop looking out the window to the east, watching the clouds play tricks with the light emanating from the bella luna....I began singing about portabellas, though it's portabello, right?, and lunas, sort of portabella is a musharooma, and there is a bella luna, kind of stuff. Crazy, but I felt so good looking at it, it was too beautiful for me in that moment, too beautiful. I went on to Wal Mart, finally, and I forgot one of the main things I wanted to get, even though I shopped for almost an hour and a half. $111. and change. Wow. I wanted to buy everything in there, everything, well, almost. I bought every kind of Little Debbie Holiday snack cake (looking for little gifts for the co-workers, fun stuff, treats). And cookies, and chips, and a big container of cashews, face soap and a new purple bath puff thingie, echinacea and vitamin E, more motor oil, and a birthday card for Lilly and fun wrapping paper with little cutesie puppies and cakes and things on it, and a really cute Blues Clues outfit for her, jacket, top, pants, and a pair of red flannel pajamas with polar bears on them..... I wanted to buy her everything. What sort of subliminal messages are they playing in that store??? Whatever it is, it works, on me. $111. and some change. Oh, and a Scooby Doo lunch box. And a calendar for D. Tomorrow is D.'s birthday, my supervisor's birthday.....and Lilly's 3rd birthday party. 3. Wow, what a great age. I was so afraid to buy her anything, so afraid whatever I get her mom will get rid of, she will sell it at her last yard sale before they move out West. Or Lilly won't like it, or whatever. But I think I did pretty good this time. I got good stuff, I just hope they both like what I got. Now I'm excited, now I can wrap up her clothes and her little lunchbox in the cutesie puppies' birthday party wrapping paper, and head to the party after work tomorrow feeling confident. This is good. So, I'm home just in time to see "Survivor" and it's some re-hashed retrospective of the first 21 days....with never before seen footage. What a ripoff. I switched to "Friends", but I hardly ever watch that show anymore, and I couldn't sit down, couldn't pay attention, but it was the episode with Monica and Chandler's wedding and Rachel finding out she's pregnant, and I read about this one, and I saw the end....and cried right along with Rachel when she thought she wasn't pregnant....... My biological clock is not ticking, the alarm is going off! I wanted to be buying clothes for my own little girl tonight. Hopefully "CSI" will be new, or I'll be forced to do something else, maybe watch something else. I need to relax, today was weird. Today we talked about giving, about having a birthday fund at work, and K. doesn't want to give and V. and I talked about how stingy K. is...and it went on and on and on, and it was very uncomfortable, and P. and I talked about L.'s weirdness yesterday, and it's a big scandal now.....I knew it. I'm so glad everyone can see who L. really is, finally. Whew. Crazy. Full moon tomorrow. I feel it today. It's too warm here, it might have been the beach at Playa del Carmen tonight, the wind, the constant breeze, the constant warm breeze, but there is no ocean. Strange days indeed. Cost of the War in Iraq
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