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Wednesday, Jul. 04, 2007 / 3:09 p.m. ~A Life Update~ Today is a day off work, and coincidentally also a National Holiday, which is nice, always, days off from work are the best kinds of days, and as I tend to spend days off from work, I am sitting in front of my computer, looking at words and images on my computer monitor, captivated, as it apparently takes little to captivate one such as myself. The state of things is thus: when thinking of this venue for writing I think of the pining over this boy or that, and realize that now it has been so long since it all came to pass that I feel not a thing, barely ever think of any of them. Men. They are good for mowing lawns and fixing things. And occasional sexual servicing. Otherwise, they are a pain not to be endured. Cats are constant companions, sleeping more often than not, and easy to be around. Mostly. I work for a living, hence the "day off from work", and I suppose that what I do each day there is valuable and holds meaning for some, and I enjoy when I accompish something, and do a good job, as that holds meaning for me, but otherwise it feels a waste of my time. I need the money to live as I do, oh so modestly of course, but if there could be another way to earn it, and I could find that other way, I would engage wholeheartedly. Woman's search for meaning. Each time I visit here I get stuck in thinking about what's here, what I've left here, as if really there is nothing here but that, and I drop in to leave an update of sorts. This is that. My biggest change is being a vegetarian, and I notice I wrote so much about wanting to be one, and thinking I should be one, and wondering if I could be one, and now it is a part of my life. A large part. The reactions are interesting, the behaviors of those closest to me, regarding my diet, the choices I have to make, and the variety available, the interesting changes, are all a new part of my life. Otherwise, so much is the same. Time passes quickly when we look back on it. It can be hard to remember when we felt this way or that, or experienced this or that, yet when we are amidst the this and that, it can feel so interminable. I feel I am more aware of all of it now, aging despite myself. Everything is what it is, and look how accepting I am. I seldom fight anymore at all. Not sure if this is a decided calm, or an aquiescence, or surrender, or merely contentment, but it, like everything else, is what it is. Life goes on, always, and change is constant, and it is a National Holiday, and a day off work, and so far, I am enjoying my day. Cost of the War in Iraq
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